the pursuit of happiness

Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy, Meh.

Gen Y Yuppies?!?!? Is there such a thing? According to Huffington Post there is.  Am I Lucy? How many of my friends and I are “Lucy” — and am I okay being a ‘yuppy?’

Truth is, I’m pretty darn fortunate! Happy, meh. But that’s on me. I’m a workaholic and I totally need to back off. I’m not sure that I buy this equation — for anyone, Gen Y or otherwise.

At first when I read this I was appalled (who is this person telling me who to think, and some one who had done research on GYPSYs – the nerve!) — almost offended — and then I read it again — and third time and thought — maybe something is there. To be fair, there is a lot in the article (and its all over the place at times, but does have a few good points).

Here’s a snipnet — take a look at the article and what do you think?

Lucy is part of Generation Y, the generation born between the late 1970s and the mid 1990s. She’s also part of a yuppie culture that makes up a large portion of Gen Y.

I have a term for yuppies in the Gen Y age group — I call them Gen Y Protagonists & Special Yuppies, or GYPSYs. A GYPSY is a unique brand of yuppie, one who thinks they are the main character of a very special story.

So Lucy’s enjoying her GYPSY life, and she’s very pleased to be Lucy. Only issue is this one thing:

It comes down to a simple formula:

2013-09-15-Geny2.jpg

It’s pretty straightforward — when the reality of someone’s life is better than they had expected, they’re happy. When reality turns out to be worse than the expectations, they’re unhappy.

Lucy’s kind of unhappy.

via Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy | Wait But Why. (Huffington Post)

So from an HR perspective I wonder what its like to have “Lucy” (or should I just say GYPSYs) and what does that do for their outlook on their work and overall engagement.

Someone once told me, “do you’re thing, don’t compare yourself to others, be happy with where you are and worry about you.. if you are always thinking about the guy next to you won’t appreciate where you are.”  I’ve always struggled with that advice — first it because it came from a guy I used to date (ha!), but second, I’m competitive and ambitious. A busy body. I check the box and then look at the next box that needs to be checked (I’ve got a rolling 10 year plan!)  But as I read that article for the third time, I thought about him and his words again — and there is certainly something about being in the now and being HAPPY with where you are — doesn’t mean to be complacent — but chill out and tone down the “expectations” and turn up the “reality.”

I need to seriously chill out 🙂

Making the HR connection and trying to smell the roses, yours,

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Happy Valentine’s Day to Me? « Know

This is an AWESOME article and I really wanted to share it with yall — and its so timely — and from the Texas KNOW newsletter (hook ’em!)

Take a read and consider taking the online self-compassion test — what do you think?

Enjoy! Making the HR Connection, yours – thegirlinhr!

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People who nurture self-compassion are happier and tend to enjoy healthier romantic relationships.

Common wisdom suggests that when relationship problems rear their ugly heads, the solution is to work harder to please your mate — maybe lose 15 pounds, be more cheerful, stop being so needy.

But it turns out that one of the best ways to keep the love fires burning is first to be kinder to yourself.

Kristin Neff, an educational psychologist and author of “Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind” (William Morrow, 2011), indicates that people with higher levels of self-compassion tend to achieve greater emotional well being and contentment and to enjoy healthier relationships.

“Self-compassion is about acknowledging that you’re flawed, you’re human, you’re going to make mistakes, and that’s OK,” says Neff, an associate professor in the College of Education and a pioneer in the scientific study of self-compassion. “When you have a healthy level of self-compassion, you’re as kind, considerate and forgiving to yourself as you would be to anyone you cared about. You don’t beat yourself up or become defensive, depressed and angry when you face the setbacks we all encounter at one point or another.

Research during the past decade suggests that people who nurture self-compassion have better overall psychological and emotional health, experience less anxiety and depression, are more motivated to achieve their goals and even have less trouble with common issues such as losing weight or quitting smoking.

To find out if self-compassion also makes you a better relationship partner, Neff surveyed 104 couples using a self-compassion scale that she developed.

The findings supported her theory that people who can first give themselves emotional support and validation will be in a better position to be giving, accepting and generous to their partners.

In the study, individuals who reported high levels of self-compassion also said they felt more authentic and happier in their relationships. More important, their mates described them as being significantly more affectionate, supportive, intimate and accepting in the relationship, as well as readily granting more freedom and autonomy to their partners.

And what about those who didn’t score high on self-compassion?

Their partners described them as being more controlling, detached, domineering, judgmental and verbally aggressive — and, not surprisingly, reported much less relationship satisfaction.

For couples that want to see how they stack up in the area of self-compassion, Neff has an online self-compassion test. It includes 26 statements that help you decide just how kind you are to yourself when you fail or face setbacks and how you tend to frame your flaws and shortcomings.

If you respond “almost always” to statements such as “I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies,” for example, that suggests you may have some work to do when it comes to fostering self-compassion.

“Should you or your partner score low on self-compassion, there are several things you can try on your own that should help you become more accepting of your imperfections and your basic ‘humanness,’ ” Neff says, including:

Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of an unconditionally loving friend or family member. Say the things in the letter that someone who’s caring and understanding would say to you about your perceived shortcomings.

“Wait awhile and then read it,” Neff suggests, “taking in the feelings of acceptance and support.”

Put your hands over your heart or use some other form of soothing touch when you’re struggling. Physical gestures of care and kindness tap into the body’s mammalian caregiving system, reducing the stress hormone cortisol and increasing feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, Neff explains.

Try guided meditations. Meditation helps to retrain the brain, Neff says.

Say kind words to yourself.

Whatever strategy you choose, the goal is to meet your own emotional needs, become better at living in the present moment and avoid consistently negative, self-critical thoughts.

“There’s really no downside to boosting your self-compassion,” Neff says. “You experience more happiness, contentment and peace, and your relationships improve. It’s the classic win-win.”

To find out more about exercises that can help you build self-compassion, recommended reading materials and videos on developing self-compassion, visit Neff’s website.

via Happy Valentine’s Day to Me? « Know.

Happy is as Happy Does

How many times do you hear, “All I want is to be happy” or wishes for others happiness — this week’s themes continue to be about starting with yourself.  You have to look within yourself to find happiness — and once you find that — your world and that around you will change.

Need some inspiration — check out these tips!  Don’t worry about tackling them all at once — take ’em one at a time — that’s gonna be my strategy (we can do it together 🙂 ) !

Happy employees are more productive — and positive, well -balanced, optimistic, relaxed —> HAPPY!!